Picture courtesy of husen_amad

“A man is a title bestowed when specific yet magnanimous qualities form the make–up of an individual. A title so grand and prestigious that one can go through an entire lifetime yet not live up to it or be acknowledged against it.”

Time has evolved trends. Accepted practices, mannerism, appearances have all gradually evolved and many a things have had to change their look, responsibilities and societal status to match the aura of the generation. Everything from food, to modes of transport, to professions to family sizes have all had eras when either end of their spectrum were associated with the notion of acceptability and expectation; I remember distinctly the era when investment bankers were societaly honoured. However, throughout history, in tribes, villages, religions, nations and across continents, a key notion that has consistently flirted with change, evolution, revolutions and trends, yet defied it, has been the acknowledged and proud portrayal of a man. A man is a title bestowed when specific yet magnanimous qualities form the make–up of an individual. A title so grand and prestigious that one can go through an entire lifetime yet not live up to it or be acknowledged against it. It is a title that needs to be earned yet those that live it desire no credit for it. A title so noble that it is its own superlative.

A grown man earns his rights and lives up to his responsibilities. You ensure you take accountability for the welfare, safety and happiness of your family and make certain that not a day passes when you have not strived your utmost to care for them. You endeavour your parents are in high spirits, your children are smiling, your wife is blissfully captivated and any dependants are cared for. How often do you find families unattended to or disowned while the principal who overlooks his duty labels himself a man? A grown man knows his responsibilities and does not cringe at them but merely acknowledges and strives to fulfill them.

With widespread immorality, corruption, and deception, men do not try and fit it in as they were born to stand out. Grown men are honest, ethical and have integrity in the intent of their actions. A man always has the right intention in all he pursues, be it at work, at home or socially. This core fiber is critical to distinguishing between man and cheat, confidence and arrogance, altruism and conceitedness and it is a principle ingredient for social progress. A man will rather take the difficult, longer, road–less–travelled than the dishonourable, hastened, short term benefit one. Every grown man has an unselfish ethical core and would only relinquish it when lemons become sweet.

An undoubted characteristic of a man is perseverance. A grown man does not know how to spell failure, yes he will slip and fall but he will dust himself off, learn from it and jump over the wall. “Experience is not what happens to a man, it is what a man does with what happens to him” and as such a man will not make excuses or whimper but will persevere as he acknowledges and is dedicated to his responsibilities. In Kenya & Uganda grown men push carts filled with furniture across the city while 30 something year old boys sit in their suits looking for handouts. In the US & England grown men work 2 jobs while 20 something year old boys stay at home waiting on welfare. Across the world grown men are too proud to shed their responsibilities and give in to failure; they leave that to the boys.

“Experience is not what happens to a man, it is what a man does with what happens to him” – Aldous Huxley

A leading trait of a man is his captivatingly relentless helpful nature. A man is a willing helper and complementary to his selflessness, he is supportive and accommodating. A grown man will always look out and try better others as he deems it part of his infinite responsibilities; after all, he is carrying the grand title of a man. Gandhi famously stated, “Man becomes great exactly in the degree in which he works for the welfare of his fellow men” and a grown man will never be content if his neighbour is in misery. A man does not seek greatness, he lives it.

The respect to women is fading; the appreciation and lasting admiration is now a lost art and women feel this daily. A man will treat his woman majestically and spoil her, open the door for her, name her Beautiful and ensure she is embedded in all his thoughts. The lady will always know she has a grown man and will proudly glorify him. He will strive to ensure she is cared for; joyous in her emotional needs yet gleeful in her materialistic desires. A red rose will not do justice to her beauty, an exotic holiday will never express your true affection, expensive jewelry will never truly quench her thirst for the sparkling but misplacing her name as you dubbed her Gorgeous will leave her smiling childishly. The scarcity of such behaviours is criminal and unfortunately celebrated in certain quarters. Perhaps it’s generational, or the influence of the movies and music, regardless, a man lives by his principles immaterial of external influences and societal pressure. We need to treasure & flaunt women, we need to ingest & pageant the gentleman’s mantra, and we need take pride, provide a sanctuary, display affection and be loyal to our women; values fully engrained in all grown men.

There will always be hope for good in the world, optimism for a brighter day, a happy family and an infectious moral society so long as there are men. No matter how few and rare, grown men’s logic, ethics, behaviours & aptitude will always be too magnetic and potent to be silenced – hopefully becoming infinitely contagious & hereditary. Grown men traits are cultured, continue to defy any threat of a shifting trend and are the cornerstone of all admirable majestic triumphs. Embrace your responsibilities, ethically endure against adversity, be an example & inspire a generation, and greatness will be inevitable.

Take note; this is a Grown Man’s rationale.

Adan Ali – Senior Partner House of Major, a Strategy & Investment Firm

Visit House of Major here.

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